In the Words of Lady Gaga, "Just Dance!"

With growing up in a very sheltered environment, it was only natural that I would want to try new things once I went away to college. Some have been a great experience like going to Germany and doing aerobics. Others have been interesting (for lack of a better word), such as playing intramural soccer my freshman year.

One thing that I have tried that originally caused me a lot of anxiety is ballroom dancing. Before I even explain why, let me clarify something. A lot of people say that I don't seem to get too anxious about things or that I don't really let things get to me. That may be because I am secretly a professionally trained actress when it comes to this regard because what I portray through expression is very differently than what I am experiencing.

Needless to say, I am very good at hiding my anxiety.

I had been wanting to try ballroom dancing since my first year here. However, the guy I was dating at the time was obviously not interested in the idea at all. Granted he said he would go once, I couldn't bring myself to make him go to something I knew he would hate.

After we broke up near the end of my sophomore year, I guess I really had no excuse to not go. I probably used the end of the year approaching and the idea of dancing with random guys as my excuses. Eventually though, I found some friends who convinced me to go.

My anxiety started the instant the guys and girls divided across the room. We had to learn the dance on our own before we could dance together. It was kind of very difficult. It probably didn't help that ballroom dance is held on Tuesday and Thursday of each week, and therefore, Thursday is a continuation of Tuesday. Yeah, guess who went on Thursday! I also was told over and over again that the Hustle was one of the more difficult ones to learn. Time for you to guess again! Guess which dance we were learning that night!

I made it through that night and convinced myself I should go back on a night that wouldn't be so insane. That's when anxiety started for me again. The first time I went was also my friend Jawn's first time, so he would flock to me before I even realized what was going on. This time Jawn was absent, so it brought a new anxiety. At ballroom dance, the guys get to approach the girls and ask them to dance. This is where my inner and outer thoughts are differing, but I am so full of anxiety that it is STARTING to affect my outer appearance to the point that I am sure I look like that I am lost, confused, and/or constipated by the time a guy gets anywhere near approaching me.

Eventually, my dignity was rescued by my friend Kevin. By this point though, I had totally forgotten what I was doing. I was so consumed by anxiety that I couldn't remember. All self-confidence and a chance at redeeming myself seemed to float out the room. I think I went into a slight state of depression as I apologized to Kevin for my half-hearted attempts at dancing. I feel like Kevin had to be really annoyed with what he had to work with, since he had been attending longer than I had and knew the dances.

I did, however, start to get better, and with Kevin's unnatural amount of patience when it comes to teaching dance, I was able to learn it.

Then, at another lesson, my anxiety finally reached its peak. The guys of ballroom dance had secretly planned a mismatch dress-up night amongst themselves. None of the girls knew about this. Imagine our shock when about ten guys walk in with button up shirts, ties, and fedoras. I was so overwhelmed that anxiety finally surfaced, and I literally hid behind a couch for a few seconds.

(By the way, this is my attempt at drawing my friends Kevin and Zach. They're a lot better looking in person, I promise.)

I am very aware that me being overwhelmed may not make sense, so I will explain. While the guys may have not been matching, they still looked very nice (guys clean up well, believe it or not). Nice looking guys very much intimidate me... especially when I am not dressed for the occasion (like in this scenario). It also didn't help that when you were approached by one, they would roll their fedora down their arm and ask you to dance. At this, you were supposed to take the hat and wear it. This made me feel awkward and stupid because I put the fedora on the wrong way more than once.

As we have seen before, little anxiety peaks like this cause me to forget everything that I had just learned. Therefore, repeat performance on my part, right? WRONG! I was actually starting to get stuff down faster. Yeah, it wasn't the greatest, but it was to the point where I could believe my partner when he would say, "Hey! That was good!"

My point is that I really do love and enjoy ballroom dancing. I am glad I stuck with it despite my little anxious moments. I would encourage anyone who wants to do ballroom dancing to try it, but not just ballroom dancing... ANYTHING! Anything you want to do, go for it! Do not let hesitations hold you back! It may be hard at first, but if you stick with it, it will get easier. For instance, time went on, and I know most of the guys in ballroom dance, so now I am approached more often when we need dancing partners. You'll make an everlasting change, and who knows? You may just find some amazing friends along the way.

The one problem now is that I keep wanting to do dances outside of ballroom dance. I keep hoping that my friends in relationships will get married soon because I want to do the dances at their wedding. Then, I face the reality that even if this did happen, I don't have a guy to dance with me. That's when I take my picture of Jason Castro off the wall and parade around my room with it. He's a divine dancer and a master of the Merengue.

(Source for Jason Castro picture: Music Remedy)