The Number One Cause of Depression is Laundry

I could kill Eve for many reasons. She had to eat that stupid fruit from the forbidden tree, and we all became sinful creatures. Yeah, the land became hard to cultivate, child birth became painful, and death entered the world. However, we overlook ONE important thing. Before sin, we were naked! Before sin, we didn't have to wear clothes! Before sin, we didn't have the punishment of doing laundry! I bet this thought crossed Eve's mind. I bet she tried to beg God for a different fate.

Obviously, Eve didn't win, and therefore, the human race is still today being condemned to a horrid fate of doing laundry.

I really hate doing laundry. It is probably my least favorite thing in the world. Most people would argue that laundry is not that bad, and those people have obviously never lived on a college campus where doing laundry is like being sentenced to lethal injection. I thought doing laundry was bad when I was living in the dorms because having to share the washers and dryers with eighty other girls usually guaranteed self-loathing and hatred when all of the washers and dryers were occupied. Now that I live in an on-campus apartment, I would compare dorm laundry to getting a filling and apartment laundry during the winter to lethal injection. Let me illustrate to you why this task is so torturous. 

As you can see, the place where I do my laundry is very difficult to reach with the icy sidewalks and courtyard of death. You may be wondering what makes the courtyard of death so deathly. I will show you with another illustration.

Mix all of this with the insanely cold temperature, and you will understand why I avoid doing laundry as long as I can. Please don't read that and think I'm some unclean person. When I say I avoid doing laundry, I am smart and hygienic about it. When I run out of clothes, the obvious solution is to wear something that didn't get TOO dirty over again. After I can't do that again, the next obvious solution is to borrow clothes from friends or go out and buy some (the second option is rare since I am a broke college student). However, this method does not work for long because I can't keep borrowing and buying. Plus, those clothes just add to the amount of laundry I will soon have to do. I can practically hear my clothes hamper whimpering as I watch it get fuller and fuller.

The time comes where my hamper explodes all over my room, and I realize that I should probably do laundry. At this point, I want to punch myself in the face for letting my laundry accumulate so much that I have to end up taking multiple trips through the courtyard of death and/or icy sidewalks. I'm so angry that this is going to take longer than it should if I would have just done my laundry in the first place, but it seems that EVERY little thing is going to make this a longer process than what it needs to be.

By the power of God and His divine intervention, the clothes eventually finish drying. However, now I have a whole bunch of clothes that I need to hang, return to friends, and/or fold. This usually overwhelms me because I am tired of doing laundry, so I just leave the clothes like they are for a few days. Finally the obnoxious pile of clothes causes me to break down, and I start to fold them. By this point, everything is all wrinkly, and once again, I go into a downward spiral of anger towards myself for doing this. Once I have finally gained a sliver of self-respect, I spend an hour putting away all of the clothes.

The thing about laundry is that you never win. There is always more laundry to do, and that thought depresses me. I previously mentioned strategies that I have tried to avoid laundry, and they have all backfired. However now, I have one plan that is sure to work. It is a plan so simple that the only reason it hasn't happened yet is because it is so revolutionary. The one way we can defeat laundry once and for all:

BE NAKED!